No place like home!

 I have been  trying to be kinder to my body and mind over the last few months and  it seemed that a little bit of exercise could be a good first step and so I started with a walk. The goal, if I were to be completely honest, is to lose some weight and feel better about my physical self and to spend some time in quiet reflection at the end of the day. This is how I came to begin my  walk down the hill behind my house in the evening.

 Living in a fairly rural area there are no streetlights and unless the neighbors have left their porch lights on (or at this time of year - put up their holiday lights) the road is dark and difficult to navigate without squinting.

Tonight, as I walked down the road in the winter darkness, staring through the trees at the stars twinkling above and listening to the "hoo, hoo" of the owl from the treetops I was reminded of how much I look "past" on a regular basis; how much I seem to be taking for granted when I am in the throes of the chaos that I call my "life". Standing there in the middle of the road, christmas lights blinking  from the houses at bottom of the hill, the wisp of wood-smoke coming from a fireplace  and the maple syrupy smell of fenugreek wafting down  from the hillside I felt an unexpected surge of awe and appreciation for this place that I call home.

The neighbors directly next to us announced recently that they are separating. This was an "amicable" and "mutually agreed upon" parting of the ways - with the hopes that one day they would come back together to couple-hood. They had been together the same length of time that my husband and I have been together. At first, the plan was to have one of them move out to another place  and the remaining one stay at the house and sublet rooms to others to pay for the mortgage. Shortly after the plan changed and then it was decided that they would both move to separate residences and rent the entire house. There was a moving sale - and they offered up the vestiges of their lives together to strangers who rummaged through the sentimental treasure haphazardly - wondering aloud if it were possible to pay less money than was marked.

This afternoon I was informed that they had decided to try to sell the house and not even try to rent it. They seemed to have given up on any hope of the reconciliation that they had both indicated they were longing for.

My emotions seem to be riding very close to the surface these days and getting choked up is becoming a regular event. I am not sure if this is a product of my perceptions changing or if it is merely a physiological tweak that has recently taken hold. I can say I am glad to be taking notice and feeling and appreciating and being in awe. Even the sadness has it's place....