The hole in my soul

It occurred to me today that there is a hole in my soul. I am not sure how or why or even when, exactly, this happened - but it must be so.
It seems that every thing that used to fill me up - make me happy - push me to overflowing and full of life now just runs out. Like taking a hose to sand - waiting for the water to pool and puddle, only it doesn't. I feel empty. void. insignificant and perhaps worst of all - miserable about it!
So many things are going on around me...many of them not so good- but a lot of them are, by most anyone's standards, excellent. Yes, the California budget sucks and yes I will have to take furlough days.... granted that I will have a pay cut...I get T I M E. (I have been asking for more time.... hmmm the universe is fun that way.... I guess I should have specified that I wanted time and more money!! ;)
One the flip side - I am creating incredible garden space....lots of WORK to get there...but I am creating it. (trouble is - I want to spend all my time there to the exclusion of everything else!)
I am getting married. (thats an entire post by itself!)


I read a stumble find the other day that said "I have problems with self esteem. Which is ridiculous when you think about how incredible I am"